I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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