Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
