He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
