Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
