woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
