i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize