I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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