You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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