my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
