areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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