Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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