I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
