Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
