he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize