do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
