If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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