nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize