I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
