he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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