Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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