is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
