this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
