In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cut my penus on the lid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
