wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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