Your face is a jimmy john
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
