I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize