He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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