I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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