I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
