Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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