My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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