I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize