Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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