I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found your dick twin last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
