ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
