Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
