We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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