So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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