So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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