Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize