Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
