Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
