Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
