It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize