sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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