btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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