Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Randomize
