How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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