It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
