She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize