why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize