He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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