OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize