FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
