Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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