We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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