Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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