dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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