One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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