I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
