He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
