TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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