apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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